Why going to the dentist can be great karma.

How can going to the dentist can be great karma?  Well there are the usual reasons why going to the dentist is great for your personal karma.  Having a great smile is great for your self-esteem and if you feel better about yourself the easier it is to be a positive force around you.  Having a great smile means you smile more making the people around you more positive, fixing that toothache is positive for the people around your because you don't swear as much.  And of course bad breath is a negative to anyone that comes near you.  So these are the standard reasons why going to the dentist is good for karma.  But what if I told you that going to the dentist can lead to pure happiness, excitement, and love.  Yes that nimble little emotion called love seems like a stretch but I am here to tell you it is possible.

     In my thirty-four years I have had a lot of experience with dentists.  Having all your front teeth knocked out by a steroid raging bouncer is a good way to pay for your dentists new BMW.  Add in not flossing everyday and you are enrolled in the frequent flier program on your dentists chair of torture.  Now I'm not one of these creepy guys that likes to go to the dentist cause it gets them off.  I.E. Bill Murray in 'Little Shop of Horror's'  I hate going and they scare the hell out of me.  I have had some positive experiences...its always great when you get a new smile, but most have been like Dustin Hoffman in 'Marathon Man 

     So I broke a front tooth on a olive pit and it was either never smile, talk to a woman, get lucky, or buck up and make an appointment with a new dentist.  So I found a referral in the break room at Microsoft for a dentist just down the road.  Now we are going to refer to her as Doc E.  I've never had a woman dentist but I'm a progressive kinda guy so it doesn't matter to me.  I fill out all the forms and an assistant shows me to the chair of pain.  My heart is starting to make my sweater move and my palms are sweating like a redneck in a dance club.  The assistant is chatting away about the weather and something else, and more something else's and I'm trying to nod at the appropriate moments but I can barely see her my eyes are welling with fear, and then loathing over that fear.  For god sakes sally your a grown man...get ahold of yourself! 

    Then Doc E walks in and I swear to god the mist cleared, the clouds parted, a light from heaven shown down upon her.   A choir of Angels started to sing...or it might have just been a Jewel song on the XM radio but either way I was in rapture.  Helen of Troy in a while lab coat was smiling down on me with a perfect set of ivory keys, an abyss of two overwhelming eyes that sparkled like the night sky on a back country road.  She reached out with a tiny hand to shake my now bone dry meat hook and she said "Hello Mr. Wheeler I love you also even though we have only just met for the first time in this life.  We have loved each other over the span of time and it's about time you found me."  Ahhh well she might have not said that but I think her eyes did.  She said something like hello and what can I do for you today. 

     I said that I was a big loser with a missing front tooth and could she make me cool again or something equally charming and she laughed with just a hint of flirtation.  No ring on her finger (I always look) and I can't really tell with that sexy lab coat on but I know she is perfect down to the very last cell on her pinky toe.  "Mr. Wheeler I am going to examine your mouth and see what kind of work we need to do.  This tool is going to measure the amount of space from the gum line to the tooth.  Now we would always like it to be under three."  My mind flashes to a 156 out of 365 nights I didn't floss this year and my heart drops into Hades.  I know this isn't going to be impressive at all. 2,3,5,4,5,5,3,5,5,4,5,3,5,5, hmmmm 5,3,3,2,4,4,5,5,5,.  Well that hmmm might have been 'I can work with this' or 'I could never date this guy' kind of hmmmm. " Well Matthew..I think we will be seeing a lot of each other in the coming months."  Now I know I didn't imagine that...and she was glowing when she said it.   It might have been the huge flood light above her but I don't care. 

     Now it's hard to comment when you have a latex hand in you mouth but I grunted a flirty grunt that yes...we will be seeing a lot of each other.  No not a creepy stalker grunt, a nice guy kinda grunt.  She took an impression of the missing tooth and we made small talk about dental school, as I have a friend at Marquette Dental School.  We talk about our weekend plans...not our plans together but that she wants to go hiking with her sister.  HIKING?  Shit!  I really have to quit smoking.  I can't go up three flights of stairs without calling flight for life how am I going to go hiking with her...someday.  "What are your plans Matthew?"  My head flashes to the truth, hang out with my Mom and Sister on Friday, Starbucks and Half-Price Books Saturday, Guitar Hero sat night, damn I have nothing cool to say.  "Ummm stop at Starbucks and Half-Price Books probably"  "Oh I love reading...I love historical fiction" she said.  This woman is perfect!

     She wraps things up by saying that I can come back next week for the new tooth and to have a great weekend.  Now I will get to the point of how going to the dentist can be great for your Karma.  When you are in love the world is full of color, everyone is a friend, and working out isn't quite as bad as you thought.  You smile even if your missing a tooth, you treat your customers with genuine respect, even that jerk with the high-water pants.  You have more patience, understanding, and are willing to compromise which TV show your going to watch with your sister.  You read more about current events, trim your ear and nose hair, floss and brush twice a day, and even spray cologne on all your cloths even though they are just sitting in the closet.  You buy a new pair of shoes cause women notice, compliment the sales clerk on their outfit, tip the barista two dollars, and let everyone in your lane of traffic.

     Now before you leave comments about love at first site and how this is just like the time I fell in love with my therapist when I was seventeen, and dentists don't wear rings cause they put their hands in twenty mouths a day I just have to tell you that you might be right.  But I'm still going to make her C.D.s of my favorite songs, and I'm still going to send her flowers thanking her...and her staff for being so nice, and I'm still going to shave the ten hairs that seem to want to grow on my back.  It's great to be in love...even if its with a woman that is way out of your league.  It gives you something to smile about, and smiling is great karma.

more of this story next week-tomorrows post is about the movie The 11th Hour

Comments

[Steve Froisland]

I am going to a new dentist this Wednesday. I'll pray for good karma and hope to someone a CD of my favorite songs too.

[MelKell]

My dentist is sooooo uninspiring, geeez. I'm not super keen on math, but I had a cute TA in college that inspired me to actully pay attention and pass the class. You might end up being a top-notch flosser.

...you broke your tooth?! You pretty much smile all the time and I didn't even notice. hunh.

[RW at 99]

From Russ the salmon guy.
Nicely done blog. Karmaic thoughts on stuff is always pop. Nothing too weird that I might wonder what you might be cooking with either ;-)

[Dental Fremont]

I enjoyed reading your post! Going to the dentist is indeed great karma, and may I add that there are a lot of good looking dentists as well. It is important to go to the dentist aside from achieving a beautiful smile. You get to have good oral health too. Good luck!

[Dental Moreno Valley]

It is a great karma and I completely agree with this article. Thanks for sharing this. I've learned new insights about dental care.